You see them everywhere-those questionnaire thingys where you give away little secrets of your life and people read them and think they know you, and then they're expected to fill it out to reveal something about themselves.
Well, here's a surrealist questionnaire to challenge your creativity...
@What is your favorite color?
Blue, no green! aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!
@If color was a kind of cheese which cheese would cows eat?
Isn't that a bit like autoeroticism or something?
@If a chicken and a half laid an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many cows could obtain escape velocity in a week?
Depends on the fuel mixture and their knowledge of combustion engines.
@If a 3-legged frog is running around a race track at 127 miles an hour, and he hits a pebble, causing him to instantaneously combust, what 3 directions would his 2 eyes fly?
Up, right and upright
@Back to cheese:
Cheese-whiz or grated cheese?
Grated. I don't eat anything with the word whiz in it.
@What's the last thing you'd ever want to read in a fortune cookie?
"You never existed."
@If fortune cookies were cars, would you prefer 2 wheels or 3?
3, cause triangles are very strong geometric shapes.
@Plaid or plain toilet paper?
Plain-cause plaid is so busy, you can't be sure you're done wiping.
@If camels formed a cult and summoned a demon, which camel would gain an extra hump, and therefore achieve almost god-like status?
The one with no hump-no one would notice a camel who already had a hump(s)
@If you were locked up in a frozen pizza shaped prison for 3 consecutive life terms, anchovies or pork?
Well, obviously neither-too much sodium in anchovies, and I haven't eaten pork since The Empire Strikes Back came out.
@If you had to force one of your bad habits on your worst enemy, which one would it be?
Stinky Wheezleteats, for he is truly my worst enemy
@No, no, I mean which bad habit would you force on your worst enemy, not which enemy?
Oh. I would force my bad habit of making up worst enemies.
The Carpenters or Carmella back in the 2nd grade?
Have to go with The Carpenters-Carmella was hot back then, but she could never hold a high B flat.
@If 1300 rampaging sea turtles were chasing you through Krogers, would you rather visit Russia or China in your next life?
Depends whether I'm being chased through the bread aisle or going through the 15 Items or Less checkout.
@What's a good name for this symbol?
X takes the center square
@Finish this limerick (fill in the blank):
I once knew a girl with rickets
Who crossed a line of union pickets
The union boss shot her
And everyone forgot her
It must be night, there are crickets
@If computers had genitals, what would be their least favorite holiday?
Ted's Day... definitely Ted's Day
@If the dinosaurs were killed off with a Comet, how is it you can still buy it in stores?
Money is still important in our non-Trekkian society.
@13 years ago...
I was 13 years younger.